Why Being Present Matters More Than Meditation
Tick, tick, go the checkboxes in your day.
Laundry, tick.
Call the kids’ school to schedule classroom hours, tick.
Make sure to eat lunch, tick–but also make sure it has fiber and plenty of protein, tick, tick.
Attend morning meetings, tick.
Get those emails out before X:XX time, tick.
Write the outline for next week’s project, tick.
Have you had a full glass of water since before breakfast? No? “I’d better do that now.” Drink water, tick.
Stop by that coworker’s desk to smooth over the critique you had to give on their latest deliverable, tick.
Oh, you’re stressed? Tick.
No, that’s not on your to-do list. Untick.
Sound familiar? This endless cycle of Did you do that? No? Add to the to-do, complete, cross it off.
Now mindfulness shows up as another box: “Do 5-minute meditation, tick.”
Some action items like these may feel productive in the moment, but instead of reducing stress, they can actually just add more tasks to your already overloaded daily list.
Being Present in Everyday Life
What we need is a recalibration. Five minutes of trying to empty your racing mind isn’t it, and it never will be. Instead, let’s step out of the tick boxes in your mind or your phone and into where you are in the present—sitting at your desk? Great. Let’s practice being where you are.
Let’s try for just a moment not to think about the kids’ recital you have tonight or the urgent email you just remembered you needed to send two hours ago. Let’s not think about the weird text your sister sent and all the dysfunction you’re realizing is in your family and past. Ignore the fact that weekends have become more full of subtasks spawned from the work week.
One of my favorite quotes by Lao Tzu, which I often find on the bags of my intermittent cups of tea, says, “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
I’m sure your brain just came up with ten reasons why you have more urgent issues than nature. I get it, trust me, I really do. But you’re feeling the gap, the weight, and the speed of a train you can’t possibly get off of or stop.
How to Practice Mindfulness Right Now
The truth is, you don’t need a meditation app, yoga retreat, or special space. You can practice mindfulness right at your desk before you take a sip of that tea, in the car line at school pick up, and even when gathering concession snacks during a quick intermission at the recital. Try this:
Pause.
Take a moment to arrive where your feet are.
Notice this moment.
Meet your breath wherever it may be.
Let your physical sense guide your attention.
Make space for a deeper breath. Observe the air going in through your nose—cool? The air going out of your open mouth, exhale—warm?
What do you hear? What is here right now if you pause and listen? Nearby conversation, a keyboard, tick of a nearby clock, the hum of the office AC?
What do you see? A lamp, steam from your tea cup, a sky that shifts its shade of blue by the hour?
How do you feel inside? Relaxed, heavy, restless, calm? Notice without judgment.
Fantastic, take a bow–you just did it. You practiced mindfulness. No timer, no pressure.
No, don’t tick the box. It’s bigger than that.
You were present. Settling into your body, heart, mind, and breath with directed attention and ease.
Tick, tick, tick… Let each one be a reminder and allow yourself to return to this moment. And that’s the practice. To go from preoccupied to present.
The Real Habit of Mindfulness
Mindfulness isn’t about pausing life or emptying your mind. It’s about living the life you’re in, with present-centered awareness. You can keep moving through your day while staying open to what’s happening in front of you, without getting swept away by yesterday or carried off by tomorrow.
Mindfulness isn’t another item to check off your list. It’s a practice of checking back in with yourself in the here and now, consistently throughout the day. Mindfulness is a way of living.
A Final Word
If you’re struggling with stress, anxiety, or burnout, know that you don’t have to keep running on empty. Therapy can help you step out of the checklist created in your mind and fully into your life.
As psychologists in San Diego who practice statewide telehealth in California, we help people go beyond quick fixes and find sustainable ways to feel present and supported.
Schedule an appointment here or call us directly at (619) 693-8327. We would love to help you take the next step toward coming back to the present moment and feeling like yourself again.
