December gatherings can be a time of joy, excitement and reunion. At the same time, being with loved ones can also be stressful, draining, and/or bring up difficult emotions.
Here are 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘄-𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 from the emotional hangover that can arise after being with relatives:
1. 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 –
Acknowledgment is always the first step. Journaling freely–no censoring those hard feelings and thoughts–can be a powerful way to find clarity and validate your experience. Speaking with supportive friends or a therapist is another way to openly acknowledge our emotions, so we can begin to move through them and heal.
2. 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘵 𝘢𝘯 “𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳-𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸” –
This is your chance to take your reflection deeper. Look at the events and write down what went well, as well as the factors that contributed to difficult interactions. Use that list to identify specific actions within your control that could have contributed to the outcome. This isn’t a blame game or a way to guilt-trip yourself. This is about understanding the pieces within your control.
Perhaps you overextended when you were already exhausted, or had an extra cocktail to cope with your anxiety. Maybe you held an expectation that was unmet. Once you’ve identified the inflection point, name a small change that would help the next time around, such as prioritizing rest, substituting your last cocktail with sparkling water, or realigning expectations of how other people will behave.
This can be an uncomfortable exercise, so be gentle with yourself. Identifying areas of personal control improves our outlook and enables us to do things differently in the future.
3. 𝘙𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 –
This is a big one. In order to feel better, it’s important to actively cultivate positive emotions. Identify a couple of small ways you can begin to replenish your emotional reserves on a regular basis. Perhaps it’s getting more contact with nature by taking a walk outside, snuggling up with a cozy blanket and a cup of tea, or reconnecting with a favorite friend. Notice what feels good.
Finding small ways to connect with presence and pleasure every day is a small but powerful way to show yourself love and to refill your tank.
